The urge to destroy. “No.” A woman’s voice, gentle and calm. Something warm and soft rested on his forearm. Her hand. “Fight it.” As white heat blinded him, a gentle glow fought his singeing soul. Slowly, it made its way through, lifting the veil to his sight and healing the teeth of hate poisoning his heart. A woman’s face, angular and dark but soft with beauty, appeared before him. My mother. The memory faded and I was once again looking at his back. Clutching my chest, I gulped a lungful of air. “He was my father. Part of him, that thing he became... It’s inside me still. Like a seed of hell.” As I stared at his turned back, I remembered the way his blue eyes tinted violet, as if mixed with the crimson red of demonic ghosts. “And you fight it.” I took a deep breath, letting the oxygen strengthen me. Straightened taller on exhale. “You fight it every day, just like my mom told you to.” His only answer was a slight nod. He sighed. “That’s when you began to have the dreams,. Once a cuckold, always a cuckold. When she has crossed the threshold and no longer is your faithful wife you will have to deal with powerful feelings of jealousy and inadequacy. Consider carefully if you are ready to deal with these feelings before you encourage her to explore her erotic interests with other partners. Cuckolding solidifies your subordinate position. She has substantial erotic prerogatives that you do not have. Cuckolding also forces you to face the fact that you don't satisfy all of her needs/desires. You must be prepared to acknowledge that her outside interest may be a better and more exciting lover and romantic partner than you. After all, you are the guy who folds her socks and he is the playmate with whom she can let off steam. Is your relationship strong enough that she will compartmentalize her love life and still invest time and energy into maintaining and strengthening your relationship. Are you an attractive enough person and lover so that she will want.
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